|
by Christine Harvey
When Sue Dyer was 28, she decided
she had to work in a man's world. That was the only way she could earn
enough to support her children. She put the word out, and a friend led her
to a job in the construction industry. On Monday she would start as
secretary to the Executive Director of a trade association. She hadn't typed
since the 7th grade. Her only jobs had been part time teaching and working
in clothing stores.
Read on and
discover how she moved up to Executive Director within two years and became
the first woman in the US to be head of a collective bargaining
unit in the construction
industry.
Today she
leads million dollar mediations between governments and industry. When a
freeway collapsed, the community groups were at odds with the city, state
and federal agencies as to how to go forward to rebuild the freeway. They
argued for four years. With only a few days left to agree, they were in
desperation. If agreement couldn't be reached, the money would revert to the
Federal Disaster Fund.
Sue Dyer
was called, and with the
expertise she had developed over the years, she brought them to agreement
and rescued their $700 million! For Sue, supported by her team at OrgMetrics;
this is an every day
occurrence.
Most people
back away from adversity, but Sue saw it as an advantage. In the beginning
of her career in construction, her boss was hard to deal with. That’s an
understatement. When she arrived on that first Monday morning, Nine people
worked there. But each time the boss went on a rampage, or had a fit of
anger, another person quit.
The boss
always kept a gun in his desk. Within two months, only she and the office
manager were left. One day even the office manager had enough, packed up her
things and left. When the abusive boss, we'll call him Steve, came
thundering out, Sue had to explain. "She's gone too," she said. "No one can
work for you Steve." He asked, "Are you going to leave too?" She answered
quickly, "No, not as long as you live up to my terms."
Keep in mind
that Sue had no idea this would happen. She just responded with faith in
herself to the opportunity.
She said,
"Here are my terms: I hire, and I fire. You never raise your voice at me or
anyone else I bring into the organization. I set the rules. You follow them.
You treat me with respect." He agreed.
Even after
making this promise there were still episodes. One day he went into a fit
over something connected with Sue.
He grabbed
his gun and started ferociously down the hall toward her office. Over the
top of his ranting and raving, Sue could hear the new office staff
screeching, "He's going to kill her!"
When Steve
reached her office pointing his gun, she stood up from behind her desk and
said dismissively, "Steve, put that thing away!"
He backed
down, started lamenting his dilemma and eventually slumped into a chair,
continuing his saga.
Isolated
incidents aside, he stayed out of the office for the most part, until one
day the Board of Directors
had enough, and asked him
to retire.
In the mean
time, Sue had been doing his job for two years, including sitting at the
bargaining table of the trade unions
– 20 men and Sue
negotiating wages, fringe benefits, and working rules.
"In those
days, the tradition was very macho," Sue says. "The men would yell and
scream at each other, pound the table and threaten." Sue's collective
bargaining unit was composed of 200 construction companies negotiating with
the Teamsters, Operating Engineers, Laborers, Plumbers
and Carpenters.
Can you see
all these hard hat types yelling and screaming and showing their fists
across the table with Sue there? Quite a sight. It was then that she decided
to develop the skills she calls non-adversarial negotiation.
At the time
the Board decided to ask her abusive boss to 'retire', the organization was
in financial trouble due to his dealings. Sue took the President of the
Board aside and said, "I've been the one running this organization now for
several years. If you think I'm going to rescue this organization, so you
can hire another man, you're wrong. I think I deserve a chance. Give me the
position, and the title, and I'll show you."
The
president stood up for her and proposed it to the Board. They protested.
Some thought she should be called Executive Secretary. "No, If I'm going to
do the job, I should get the title," she told them. "Give me six months. If
you're not happy, I'll step down."
They agreed
and wanted to keep her salary as it was. Her boss' salary had been double.
"Look, if I have the title and the job" she said, "I get the pay!" They were
reluctant. "Look," she said, "How much do you pay the top people in your
companies? Steve made this much money, and cost you more through
mismanagement. I deserve the same." They agreed. Sue did the job and had
them in the black in two months.
They never
looked back and Sue had her opportunity to change the culture. Before it had
been ruthless competitors in a cutthroat place. Now it became a place to
share ideas. They learned to cooperate. It proved to be good for the
industry, and good for themselves.
They were
able to advance further. She changed the way negotiations
were conducted. She
changed the culture between management and labor. People started to work
with respect and look for common good rather than starting from the
entrenched position as adversaries.
Sue proved
she had the power within her to influence the world around her. A woman. A
woman who decided to tackle a man's world. A woman who couldn't type and had
never had a full time job. A woman who had never dealt with abusive people
and when confronted with an abusive boss, stood up to him and said stop it.
All the others, male and female, ran the other way.
I asked Sue
what gave her this courage. "I had faced the worst thing in my life I could
imagine just before going into that job. My little daughter was ill and had
been near death many times. My son and I spent months on end at her bedside
at the hospital. My husband, my childhood sweetheart, couldn't take the
pressure. We were divorced. I had already had to face my worst fears. I
found strength I never knew I had," she said. And she still has it today.
What's her
advice? "Everyone faces adversity, "she said. "Use it as a way to tap into
your inner strength." She believes these things come to us for a reason.
"You have a choice," she said. "You can be bitter and afraid, or you can
tackle it head on."
But for Sue,
'tackling it' does not mean we must use the old stereotype of
aggressiveness. Do you remember the famous psychological theory that's been
purporting for years? It says that animals and humans respond in one of two
ways ... 'fight or flight.' But, Sue Dyer's
method, the one that
saves companies at their final hour, the method that saved the $700 million
disaster fund, is neither fight nor flight.
Remember
when Sue's boss, Steve, came at her in a fury with a gun? She didn't use
fight. She didn't use flight. She simply held her ground. She said, "Steve,
put that thing down." In her training on non-adversarial negotiations, she
teaches people nationwide this. If you want to succeed, come from the
position of refusing to be an adversary -- no matter what.
Sue's book,
"Partner Your Project" outlines this for the construction industry. It was
so popular that she has written a powerful sequel for people to use in all
aspects of business and life. She’s also developing training on the subject.
I’ve seen the wonders that Sue’s methods achieve in bringing about a better
world.
The
importance of her methods is far reaching. Many people, male and female,
want a method for dealing with life which has dignity,
"Dignity" for all. If we
run, as 'flight' suggests, there is no dignity for us. Secondly, it doesn't
fix the problem.
My friend
Hilde and I could have walked away from our incident at the Eiffel Tower,
shrugged our shoulders and said 'so what' when the guard was abusive. That's
'flight.' But millions of other people after us would have been subjected to
his whims of physical and verbal abuse, had we not spoken out to the right
person to have it rectified.
The other
alternative of 'fight', provides no dignity either. Think of most fight
situations you've witnessed. Is there ever a real winner? Do the
relationships live or die?
People are
seeking a new method that starts from Sue's non-adversarial
baseline. A baseline of
dignity for all.
Thus we see
the critical impact that women like Sue Dyer are making on society at a time
when it's desperately needed. A time when crime hinders society, a time when
schools are in dire straits, a time when people want streets that are safe
to walk on.
Now is the
time, as never before, for you to think about your impact as a woman. Speak
out for change as Sue does. Yes, you too can do it. Notice the problem,
speak out, and speak out to the right person. Change can be instantaneous.
And, you will have been the spearhead.
Review the
action sheet that follows and see which aspects you can apply to your own
life.
Remember, you can be the
only
woman and hold your own
ACTION SHEET
Ideas
for Development:
1.
Decide on
the position you want, then put the word out.
2.
When
people are leaving all around you, see it as an opportunity to move up.
3.
Don't be
afraid to be the only woman.
4.
Be gutsy
in stating your terms when the chips are stacked on your side.
5.
Have high
values and constantly seek ways to implement them.
6.
Don't let
your lack of 'experience' stop you, if you have faith you can do it.
7.
Don’t use
either fight or flight, instead hold your ground.
8.
Others…
Of the above
ideas, which one is likely to get the best results? What percentage increase
could you expect if you do this? (Of salary increase, or community change,
or quality of life, etc.)
How long will
it take to develop the idea?
How long will it
take to get results?
Who should be
involved?
What date should
you start?
What's the first
step you should take?
Want to learn
more? Motivation Marathon, a 4-CD series with Beth Walkup, Sue Dyer
and Hilde Bartlett is still available!
Visit our eShop to get yours.
|
